Duality, Choice and Creativity

To me, our most common reaction to dualities- this idea that there is always two sides of the coin- is similar to speeding along a major bridge or highway --we begin at one end with the intent of arriving at the other- thinking that there is only one, either completely stagnant or accelerated, way across. But the real breakthrough comes in the unexpected moments when we aren't telling ourselves what to do. Why? If we move too fast, or beat ourselves up when we hit a road block- we miss the oppurtunity to draw upon our attention, creativity and strength.

Let me paint a picture. You know the feeling of speeding across a freeway with your eyes shifting in between the clock and the forward motion of traffic. You're almost across the bridge--and then you hit the traffic that seems to come out of nowhere. You're no longer in full speed- but stopped, and most likely- pissed off. "I didn't plan for this!" you say to yourself. Even worse, not only are you stopped, but everyone is trying to get in "your" lane, which aggravates you even more because you've got an extremely important meeting to get to. Its hot, and the car doesn't have air conditioning. You look down at your clock once again and you're ten minutes late. Suddenly you realize that you're not going to "make it." All that trying- pushing, pulling feels irrelevant because well- the cars will not budge. And then all of a sudden you notice that you're surrounded by this huge body of water. "Has there been a lake here this whole time?" you say to yourself silently. In the midst of these two destinations, the honking cars, and caffeine induced-road raged- drivers is this huge vast body of water- moving creatively and flowing effortlessly.
It is in these moments that we allow ourselves to let go of the "getting there" because in between there is a journey that is much more valuable to our development and growth. This doesn't mean that crossing this bridge over and over again won't happen on a daily basis. But making the conscious choice to let creativity take over- to let ourselves feel what we're feeling and be exactly where we are is a step toward healing.

If were running from darkness toward light, striving to "get there" or "get healed" we miss the opportunity to dive into ourselves. It is inevitable that you will hit traffic again (literally and figuratively) in your life- all kinds of road bumps will come up- but this not a catastrophic event. Its an opportunity. Creativity comes in embracing your feelings- the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is so important to navigate the road in between the process of duality with this sense of freshness: to open yourself to the possibility that there is something magnificent there. The events that often bring up dualities, aren't about a one-time magic realization that you've moved out of the dark and into the light. There is not blueprint for success. It is gradual, its inventive, attentive, creative and often our best teacher if we just choose to let it be and show up throughout the entire process.

The ability to choose is the key, because choice is the process of creation itself. Its that magnificent place that I mentioned before where we say "yes- bring it on!" Making our choices CONCIOUSLY allows us to understand that each choice we make is a creative act of tremendous power for which you are held responsible. Choose to show up!

Compassion, Simplified.

For those of you that struggle with "compassion"- what it means, or more common- having compassion for absolute strangers, and people that you "don't like." This is a fun little exercise that can bring a whole new perspective:

“Sometimes, while riding the subway I try to look at each
person and imagine what they look like to someone who is in love with
them. I think everyone has had someone look at them that way, whether it
is a lover, or a parent, or a friend, whether they know it or not. It’s
a wonderful thing, to look at someone to whom I would never be
attracted and think about what looking at him or her would feel like to
someone who is devouring every part of his or her image, who has
invisible strings that connect to every part of his or her body. I think
this is a fun way of cultivating compassion. It feels good to think
about people that way and to use a part of my mind that is traditionally
reserved for a tiny portion of people I’ll meet in my life to
appreciate the general public. I wish I could think about people like
this more often. I think it’s the opposite of what our culture teaches
us to do. “

—Dean Spade, from ‘For Lovers and Fighters

The Whole Foods Parking Lot Rap Song

Im all for organic food. Im all for yoga. Im all for cleansing, and believe me....I do love Whole Foods. 

But most of all, Im all for not taking myself too seriously- in hopes that others too will find a little inspiration in lightening their load. 

50 Reasons Why You Are Absolutely Beautiful

Beauty is this word that is often thrown around conditionally. Its another category that can sometimes feel esoteric. To me, beauty is a celebration of everything in our lives- even the stuff that we shove deep down in hopes of never seeing that "ugliness" again- its the organic substance that fuels our gorgeous smile, and breathtaking laugh. Beauty in its rawness, can't be faked.

1. You are beautiful when you are afraid to do something, and you do it anyway. 

2. If you have been to hell and back, your resilience is beautiful.

3. Beauty is long hair, and short hair; brown, black, pink, yellow, or white. Beauty is a smooth bald head.

4. Asking questions—especially “why?”—is always beautiful. Why? Because curiosity is beautiful.

5.  If you can string words together into a sentence, and you’re brave enough to let someone else read it, that’s beautiful. 

6. Flat stomachs are beautiful, sure, but big, soft bellies are beautiful, too.

7. It is beautiful to speak another language. It is beautiful to try.

8. Beauty is putting paint on canvas, or strumming a guitar, or baking bread, or dancing with your eyes closed.

9. Creating is always beautiful.

10. Your bare face in the morning is beautiful. Ask the person who loves you. It’s true.

11. Beauty is being brave enough to embrace your feelings- the good, the bad, and the ugly. To open yourself to the possibility that there is something magnificent there. 

12. Remember the time your best friend called you crying? Because only your voice could calm her down? That was beautiful.

13. Beauty is laughing so hard your eyes are watering and your stomach hurts and you’re yelling, “Stop, stop! Seriously, I’m peeing!” Yes. Peeing your pants can be beautiful.

14. Beauty is not letting ignorance be mistaken for truth. Even if you're the one in the dark.

15. Beauty is calling someone out for saying something hurtful, even if you weren’t the one getting hurt. 

16. Your legs are beautiful. No, really. They are. Look at the curve of your calves, the muscles in your thighs, the peaks and valleys of your knee.

17. Letting go of a toxic relationship? Ah, what a beautiful relief!

18. You are beautiful when you rock out so hard at a concert that your neck is sore the next day.

19. Intelligence is beautiful.

20. Worldliness is beautiful.

21. Compassion is very, very beautiful.

22. Beauty is wearing an outfit so fierce that when people compliment you on it you say, “I know, right?” and then, “Oh, I mean, thank you.”

23. Strong opinions are beautiful.

24. Respecting other people’s strong opinions is beautiful too.

25. Beauty is your hometown, whether you love it or hate it, because it helped make you who you are.

26. Beauty is telling a dirty joke and laughing so hard nobody can hear the punchline.

27. Women who never wear makeup, whatever their reasons, are beautiful. 

28. Women who always wear makeup, whatever their reasons, are beautiful.

29. Floating in the ocean is a beautiful feeling.

30. Your eyes are beautiful. Nobody else has eyes like yours. They are deep and inquisitive and instantly recognizable.

31. The way our bodies tell the truth—we blush when we are attracted to someone, we blink twice when we lie—is beautiful.

32. Having faith in someone else's word, because we know we've been true to our own. That is beautiful. 

33. Beauty is being comfortable enough with someone else to be silent. As a character in the movie Best In Show put it, “We could talk or not talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

34. Beauty is being able to walk gracefully in high heels.

35. Beauty is digging your bare feet into the sand.

36. Beauty is sitting very still with your thoughts

37. It is beautiful to find the strength to ask for help when you need it. We all feel like we’re drowning sometimes, and we would all be glad to pull you from the rapids.

38. Beauty is loving your pet as much as they love you.

39. Beauty is a fresh flower in your hair.

40. The physical remnants of our life experiences—wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, and sun spots—are beautiful.

41. Wisdom is beautiful.

42. Humility is beautiful.

43. Beauty is the sweaty satisfaction of a hard workout- moving your body in the way it was meant to.

44. It is beautiful to finally tell someone your secret.

45. It is beautiful to turn the worst night into the funniest story- the ability to see the humor in the darker, sometimes neglected parts of our life.

46. Beauty is being able to truly enjoy the food you eat. 

47. It is beautiful to be grateful to all the strong people who came before you: the ones who raised you, the ones who fought for your rights, the ones who were burned at the stake because they were too powerful.

48. Giving birth is beautiful. (Messy, but beautiful.) Rebirth- as many times as necessary- is also beautiful.

49. Freedom is beautiful. You are free to fill your life with the things that make you happy. You have a choice. 

50. Happiness is beautiful. Never be ashamed of being happy.


inspired by frisky.com

Going Steady with Joe

If you're a coffee nut you know the feeling. All it takes for us to get going in the morning is the tempting aroma of fresh ground espresso beans. Like an instrument tuned to its perfect pitch, we awake on command to the symphony of coffee grinding. Maybe its the only time in your day that you spend with just you and...your beloved- good ol Joe. He's seducing, smells fantastic, and the taste....well lets just say (all things considered) there really aren't more fish in the sea. And the way he gets you going....oh boy, its addicting.


But if you're like me--- and love what you like...a.k.a. you want to keep this committed relationship but the blindsided romance has got to come to halt. You've thought of a million ways to slow it down, or even do the unthinkable....break it off. But you know in the core of your heart that the whole "its not you, its me" line isn't going to fly....because lets face it, Joe is quite the catch.


SO.....lets. break. this. down.


Do you really need to quit drinking coffee? Although the answer is probably (Okay, its yes...), there are ways to counterbalance the adverse affects of caffeine by consuming more water and natural whole foods so the crash isn't pervasive.


Naturopath and Best-Selling Author Dr. Timothy Brantley gets real about the effects of coffee on our energy reserve and general well being. Although we can't kid ourselves that we can all stop right away, taking these baby steps toward healthier habits is easily do-able. Enjoy!

The Labyrinth

I talked a little bit before about the labyrinth of our minds- about running into our own edge over and over again. But what I want to emphasize is the importance of recognizing exactly where you are on your path.

It is equally as important for us to have goals as it is to deeply accept each step along the way. 


This acknowledgment is the source of our the energy that will carry us forward. Its so common to just jump from goal to goal without taking an honest examination of what were missing. If something isn't working for us- we don't just get up and run full speed at the next goal (although this is what most commonly happens).  We have to come back to our center and get in touch with a more appropriate perspective, or approach. And this labyrinth, which is a combination of our minds tricking us, and the external unexpected blows that life throws at us are put in place for a reason. We are meant to transform in each step of the way. 

We are all on the path... exactly where we need to be. The labyrinth is a model of that path. The symbol of the labyrinth represents wholeness. Labyrinths and mazes have often been confused. Usually when people hear the term labyrinth they think of a maze. A maze is there to confuse you- to test your analytical and sequential ability to get out of a situation. It mostly exercises your left brain with twists, turns and blind alleys. A maze is a puzzle to be solved- to find the "correct" way in and out. 

A labyrinth however is continuous, and only has one path and can be swept out in a single movement. The way in is the way out. It leads you to the center, and then back out again. The labyrinth is a right brain tasks involving intuition, imagery and creativity. 

The metaphor here represents a journey into yourself and then back out again with more focused sense of awareness and life purpose. Whatever your road block is- you loose your job, you just got dumped, you're diagnosed with a disease, or your company went bankrupt- the obstacles come in a million different forms.... but the most important thing now is to choose your next move from a place that is real. 


We can choose to be beaten down or we can choose to access our own wisdom that knows exactly what we are suppose to do next.


 In the last post I talked about bad habits as getting lost in the labyrinth of your mind. If we approach life with the intent of solving it like a maze, we will get stuck. There is no "thinking" you're way out of a road block, because there is no single right answer. This isn't a standardized test, its your life- your experience. And in the end you- with all your idiosyncrasies, your shadows, and your experiences are always your best teacher.


Hitting our own edge is not a problem to be solved but an opportunity to realize that we aren't lost, but rather, exactly where we need to be in order to move forward. 

"Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love."  
~ Caroline Adams

Growing Pains

As humans, our nature is to grow, change, create and LOVE. We all have goals. We all have potential. So why do we get stuck, what is it that keeps us from reaching that potential? We all want to be happy. Its really that simple. 

I think of bad habits like getting lost in the labyrinth of our own mind: we've carved these pathways that are comfortable and then we hit a road block: we run into our own edge- over and over again. We experience frustration, restlessness....and most often: fear of the unknown. Learning to acknowledge and distinguish emotions that are indicators of unnecessary obstacles is key at both developing your yoga practice, expanding your personal self awareness and achieving your goals. Live what you love, love what you live and make it a habit to get out of your own way. Easier said than done. We all wish we had more time to do what we love, but somehow day after day we find ourselves repeating the same old habits, and hitting that same edge again. Whether you are a yogi, a mechanic, an artist or an entrepreneur....the experience is universal. Most entrepreneur's that I've encountered have familiar experience with this philosophy. Useless habitual patterns have no place in a growing business. They know that in the face of fear, you have to open to deserving abundance, wealth and growth and take a gigantic leap of faith in order to move forward.  The philosophy is precisely the same. Clearing that which is not working, and doing what you love is an investment in your own potential. 

There is no doubt that we are modern people living in a modern world and the pressures of deadlines, meetings, expectations, judgements, influences of what we "should" be doing can hang heavy over your head (or heart), but if we don't invite these experience to teach us about the way we're choosing to expel our energy, live our life and the people we choose to surround ourselves with us, then that “edge” will remain intact, and probably build on top of itself until... well, it resembles the great wall of China. But its this edge of discomfort that is the golden ticket.

Being in the flow isn't about everything going your way, although this may happen. Its about opening to each experience for exactly what it is, while being humble enough to admit that maybe what you are doing isn't working any more. I think of it like riding the subway. If you get on and realize you're going the wrong direction, you don't continue on that line. That would be pointless. Instead, you simply get off and go in a different direction. There is no guilt to be had about this, its simply what has to be done to get to where you are suppose to go.

With this perspective, stress becomes an opportunity to become increasingly more present and to let go. Often we fear the unknown because we don't know what would remain if we actually LET GO of the useless stuff. But it is safe to say that everything that is real will stay- and better yet, everything that is real will be the catalyst for using your energy to as movement toward your goals.

You might find a little humor in actually looking at how much effort it takes to maintain these habits with resistance, anger, and guilt. 

To resist change is to resist life. Change is the constant practice of letting go. 

This is yoga. Whether you're doing the physical practice isn't relative. In sanskrit, yoga means union. And every single person has those things that bring them back home to themselves. It is that simple- whether you are on are off your mat, accessing your own deep reality is one choice away: choose to let go.  I've had countless teachers tell me that the way you do yoga on your mat is often a reflection of how we "do" life. This is true for any practice, or commitment. In order to grow we have to honestly look at how we are choosing to show up. 

I hit my own edge in my yoga practice. I wasn't moving forward,  and the postures were becoming too comfortable. I was feeling bored, I spent more time in my head than in my body. I had built walls for myself to limit the places I could go, mostly because my mind was used to that and focused on how the posture looked rather than the internal process behind it. I was doing yoga like I was doing life.  I was trying to get through the postures, almost faster than I was breathing. I entered the room with this attitude of  "lets just get this over with so I can have that post yoga bliss and get on with life." There I was..... a "serious yogi", and still a slave to my own mind. 

This realization alone allowed me to penetrate beyond those habits and bring them into conscious awareness in my practice. Now each time I get bored on or off the mat I  become

1. curious
2. present
3. and then take action.

I understand that these feelings aren't facts, just signposts to something much deeper. 

There is an entire process going on behind the feelings of boredom, comfort, fear or frustration. 

My practice of yoga has changed from being good at the postures to being curious about the process- to quiet my mind enough to listen to my body. Now my awareness in my personal yoga practice floods into my life...so I actually have much more time to do the things I love instead of wasting that energy on useless habits. I found this quote the other day and I found it incredibly relative to the transition in my yoga practice and the way I live my life off the mat. 

"Yoga doesn't take time...it gives time." ~Ganga White

And again, whatever unites you with yourself is yoga and is absolutely worth your investment.

So the next time you're feeling the blues (on or off the mat), or the sense of stagnation in your practice....become curious, and keep going. Make this your mantra. Replace resistance with curiosity, and finally....be gracious to yourself for taking the time to give yourself time, because after all, that's all we really need.